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Two Hunter

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

Seconds From Disaster

smartest living person ever!

Joke of the day :)

Lawyer vs Auditor

An auditor and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from KL to KK. The lawyer asks if the Auditor would like to play a fun game? The Auditor, tired if the t wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer,you pay me $5.00, and vice versa." Again, he declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00,and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00."This catches the Auditor's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless he plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the Earth to the moon?" The Auditor doesn't say a word, reaches into his purse, pulls out a$5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer."Okay", says the lawyer, "your turn." He asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer.He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library, no answer.Frustrated, he sends Emails to all his friends and co-workers, to no avail.After an hour, he wakes the Auditor, and hands $500.00. The Auditor says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the Auditor and asks, "Well,what's the answer?"

Without a word, the Auditor reaches into his purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and
goes back to sleep.

Typical Chinese

A Chinese man walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer.He tells the loan officer that he is going to China on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Chinese man hands over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank.
He produces the title and everything checks out. The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Chinese for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral gains a $5,000 loan.

An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the Chinese returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled.

While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi-millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The Chinese replies: "Where else in New York City can I park my car for 2 weeks for only $15.41 and Expect it to be there when I return

Hokken Lang! ( Hokkien ppl )

Children is ginnakia
Boss son is towkaykia
Bird is chiaokia
Korean Car is Kia
Give Birth is se kia
Furniture is Ikea
Police is matakia
Small House is chukia
Country Name is Czechoslovakia
Puppy is gaokia
Kitten is ngiaokia
Chick is kueykia
Rabbit is tukia
Handphoneis nokia
I'm a Hokkienkia
Chinese is TeongKokKia
Malay is huankia
Hindu is cake lengkia
KuaiLou is angmo kia
Chinese is tenglangkia
Japanese is jitpun kia
Bad Guy is phaikia
Good Guy is ho kia
If you managed to read up to this point, you are a Gong Kia (stupid) If u laugh, you are SiauKia (mad)