Meme

Bart Wars

Funny quote :
1-I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?"

2-"Lisa honey, are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?"

3- "Operator! Give me the number for 911!"

4-"It's like something out of that twilighty show about that zone."

5-"Don't worry, son. I'm sure he's up in heaven right now laughing it up with all the other celebrities: John Dilinger, Ty Cobb, Joseph Stalin." (on death of cat).

6-"Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You"

7-"It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in 8 hours of TV a day."

8-"Here's to alcohol: the source of, and answer to, all of life's problems."

9-"And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?"

10-"Now Bart, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, he gets to break yours."

11-"And Lord, we are especially thankful for nuclear power, the cleanest, safest energy source there is. Except for solar, which is just a pipe dream."

12-"Quiet you kids. If I hear one more word, Bart doesn't get to watch cartoons, and Lisa doesn't get to go to college."

13-"Don't you ever, EVER talk that way about television."

14-"No matter how good you are at something, there's always about a million people better than you."

15-"Marge, there's an empty spot I've always had inside me. I tried to fill it with family, religion, community service, but those were dead ends! I think this chair is the answer."

16-"If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English."

17-"Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation."

18-"All normal people love meat. If I went to a barbeque and there was no meat, I would say 'Yo Goober! Where's the meat!?'. I'm trying to impress people here Lisa. You don't win friends with salad."

19-"You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on."

20-"I have feelings too - like ''My stomach hurts'' or ''I'm going crazy!'

Dark Chapter of Darlie - the toothpaste company

Alternative use of an laptop

Remembering Steve Jobs (1955-2011)

Wiki here

More pic here

Siri: iPhone 4s

Astro Dog

With EMO style:

Car thief drives off with baby on board

KUALA LUMPUR: Carjackers took a vehicle from a woman without realising that her baby boy was still inside.

In the 9.15pm incident yesterday, Ong Ming Chiang, 26, was driving from Jalan Kuching to Selayang when her Honda Accord was hit from behind.

When she pulled over to check the damage, four men rushed out of their car and held her.

One of the carjackers then drove off in her car with her 14-month-old son in the back seat.

The other three men left Ong and fled in their car.

She stopped a taxi and used the driver's handphone to call her husband Ong Yong Ming, 27.

Both of them tried to call her mobile phone, which was still in her car, in an effort to inform the carjackers about the baby. However, there was no answer.

The couple later received a call from a man who found their son strapped to his baby seat outside a restaurant, about 2km from the crime scene.

The carjackers must have left the mother's mobile phone with the baby on purpose after discovering the young passenger.

Yong Ming said he and his wife were thankful their baby was not harmed.

The couple later lodged a report at the Sentul police headquarters.

Source here

Letter to Bill Gates

Microsoft's Bill Gates decided not to invest further in Punjab after receiving a letter from Mr Banta Singh .

To : Bill Gates, Microsoft
From : Banta Singh of Punjab
Date : 1 April 2009
Subject: Problems with my new computer

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

We bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice.

1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.

2. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system? I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.

3. There is 'Find' button but it is not working. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot to trace the key with this ' find' button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.

4. My child learned 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when you will provide that?

5. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'My Computer' : when you will provide the remaining items?

6. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.

7. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.

8. You provide 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?

9. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.

Regards,

Banta

Last one Mr. Bill Gates

P.S: "Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but you are selling WINDOWS ?"

Giant Crocs -6.4meter

MANILA, Philippines (UPDATED) - A monster 21-foot (6.4-meter) saltwater crocodile, believed to be the biggest ever captured, has been trapped in the southern Philippines after a spate of fatal attacks, officials said Tuesday.

The 1,075-kilogram (2,370-pound) male is suspected of eating a farmer who went missing in July in the town of Bunawan, and of killing a 12-year-old girl whose head was bitten off two years ago, crocodile hunter Rollie Sumiller said.

The hunter examined the crocodile's stomach contents by forcing it to vomit after it was captured Saturday, but there was no trace of human remains or of several water buffaloes also reported missing by locals.

"The community was relieved," Sumiller said of the capture, but added: "We're not really sure if this is the man-eater, because there have been other sightings of other crocodiles in the area."

The local government of the impoverished town of 30,000 people has decided against putting down the reptile, and will instead build a nature park where it will go on display.

Josefina de Leon, wildlife division chief at the Philippines environment ministry, said the beast was likely the biggest crocodile ever captured anywhere in the world.

"Based on existing records the largest that had been captured previously was 5.48 metres long," she told AFP.

The Philippine specimen would easily dwarf the largest captive saltwater crocodile, which the Guinness World Records website lists as Cassius, a 5.48-meter (18-foot) male which lives at an Australian nature park.

Press reports also describe other huge crocs including a 6.2-meter (20.3-foot) adult male killed in Papua New Guinea in 1982 that was measured after it was skinned.

The Bunawan hunting team, employed by a government-run crocodile breeding farm, began laying bait using chicken, pork and dog meat on August 15 in an attempt to snare the beast.

But the reptile, which measured 3 feet (0.91 meters) across its back, simply bit off both the meat and the line it was skewered on.

A heavy metal cable finally proved beyond the power of its jaws, and the beast was subdued in a creek late Saturday with the help of about 30 local men.

It was the team's second attempt after a failed expedition launched in response to the fatal 2009 attack.

Beyond the mark of the hook inside its upper jaw, the crocodile did not appear to have sustained any serious injuries, Sumiller said.

Bunawan Mayor Edwin Cox Elorde said the government would build a nature park showcasing the giant crocodile and other species found in the vast marshland on the upper reaches of the massive Agusan river basin on Mindanao island.

"It will be the biggest star of the park," Elorde told reporters.

Sumiller said the plan was the best option available for the creature.

"He's a problem crocodile that needs to be taken from the wild... and used for eco-tourism," he said.

Crocodylus porosus, or the estuarine crocodile, is the world's largest reptile. It grows to 5 or 6 meters in length and can live up to 100 years.

While not considered an endangered species globally, it is "critically endangered" in the Philippines, where it is hunted for its hide which is used in the fashion industry, de Leon said.

"There have been very few sightings of porosus in the wild in the Philippines in recent years," she added.

In July, a saltwater crocodile measuring almost 14 feet (4.2 meters) was caught on the western Philippine island of Palawan after it killed a man.

Kim Jong lookalike ?

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You owe Kim big time for his hairdo copyright!

Two Less Lonely Animal...

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No credit card pls..

The boss of Shanxi Coal went with 100,000 renminbi in cash to a hotel to spend. When he was told the bill was 200,000 renminbi, he requested to pay by credit card but the hotel insisted on cash.

No. Cash only.

Well, if you insist...


He made a phone call and moments later, two cars came with bags of one renminbi notes. The notes were unloaded and poured on to the floor of the hotel for the hotel staff to count.

Itsy bitsy spider of Pakistan

Many have attributed this incident with Pakistan floods that occurred last year, which is the worst flooding experienced by Pakistan since last 10 years.

In this flood, about 20 million Pakistanis left homeless and, according to data from the Department for International Development, the British government, still leaving the flood inundation area of the UK.

This event itself was unprecedented. However, residents reported that the presence of webs of spiders in the trees has contributed in reducing the number of mosquitoes in the area, whose population became increasingly due to stagnant water.

As quoted from dailymail site, the risk of malaria are also expected to decline because the nets were trapping the mosquitoes malaria milling around the place.
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The itsy-bitsy spider
Climbed up the water spout
Down came the rain
And washed the spider out
Out came the sun
And dried up all the rain
And the itsy-bitsy spider
Climbed up the spout again

spyshot of upcoming Benz motorbike

Hehehe...

Sugarland Stage Collapse At Indiana State Fair

Sugarland was set to perform at the Indiana State Fair Saturday night. Before the country band got on stage strong winds gusts caused the stage to collapse. Over a dozen concertgoers were injured and the tragic accident took five lives. None of Sugarland band members were injured in the accident. Wind gusts between 60 and 70 mph were reported the time the stage collapsed.



---------------------------------------------
CNN) -- The Indiana State Fair was scheduled to reopen Monday with a public memorial service for five people killed when a concert stage collapsed during a storm, officials said.
The fairgrounds were closed Saturday night following the accident, which occurred shortly before the country music duo Sugarland was to take the stage before an audience of about 12,000.
"We're all very much in mourning of the loss of the victims, and we are praying with their families," Cindy Hoye, the fair's executive director said.
Investigators on Sunday sifted through debris of the stage, trying to determine what caused the accident that also injured 40 people, authorities said.
Metal scaffolding fell onto the "Sugarpit," a section usually occupied by Sugarland's most ardent fans, about four minutes after authorities took the stage to warn the crowd to seek shelter, according to a timeline of events released by investigators Sunday.
Fans leap into action to help the fallen Indiana State Fair stage collapse 'It was absolute pandemonium' Officials mystified by stage collapse?
"It's not clear to me at this stage how anyone could have foreseen a sudden, highly localized gust of wind in one place," Gov. Mitch Daniels said.
Forecasters warned heavy rain and strong winds would hit the fair nearly two hours before the storm moved through, causing the collapse of the stage Saturday night. The National Weather Service estimated winds at 60 to 70 mph.
Video shows the blue canvas top fraying and flapping just seconds before the steel scaffolding gave way, sending a heavy bank of stage lights and metal onto fans closest to the outdoor stage.
The Atlanta-based Sugarland group -- along with its opening act, Sara Bareilles -- cancelled its scheduled performance at the Iowa State Fair. According to the fair's website, "aside from coping with the magnitude of the accident, the ongoing investigation prevents the band from getting what may remain of their stage equipment."
Jennifer Nettles, one half of the Sugarland duo, posted a statement on the group's web site Sunday, saying "there are no words to process a moment of this magnitude and gravity."
"There are only prayers for peace in the hearts of the bereft, and prayers of thanksgiving for those who were spared or safe. A piece of our heart is left in that grandstand," Nettles said.
Bareilles, who had just finished her performance when the collapse occurred, tweeted Sunday she was still thinking of all those affected."
On her web site, she wrote: "The accident at the Indiana State Fair felt like a bad dream. The weather changed in a matter of minutes and the stage collapsed in a matter of seconds. "
She called the emergency response "incredibly quick."
While most of the injured were treated and released from Indiana University Health Methodist Hospital, nine patients were admitted and still being treated Sunday afternoon, the hospital said. Three children remained at Riley Hospital for Children, the hospital said.
The Marion County, Indiana, coroner identified the three women and two men who died as: Tammy Vandam, 42, of Wanatah, Indiana; Glenn Goodrich, 49, of Indianapolis; Alina Bigjohny, 23, of Fort Wayne, Indiana; Christina Santiago, 29, of Chicago; and Nathan Byrd, 51, of Indianapolis.
Vandam, Goodrich, Bigjohny and Santiago were dead at the scene, while Byrd died later at the hospital, the coroner said.
Friends, colleagues and family gathered Sunday to remember Santiago at Chicago's Howard Brown Health Center, a health care organization for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people, where she worked.
"We have lost a fierce warrior, an amazing activist," said Rosa Yadira Ortiz, board president for Amigas Latinos, a group for lesbian Hispanics in Chicago that Santiago was involved in. "She really brought us all together."
The families of two of those hospitalized released brief statements Sunday, each asking for prayers and privacy.
"Jenny Haskell, a 22-year-old Ball State senior, is very critical at this time," her family said.
A fifth-grader, identified only as Jade, is in critical condition, according to her family.
Allison Hoehn, a concertgoer, said many attendees rushed to those trapped after the stage crumbled.
"We tried to get down to help, but no one was moving," Hoehn said. "The storm came on so fast and the stage just snapped like a toothpick."
Spectators grabbed parts of their seats to assemble makeshift stretchers, she said.
"Everyone rushed to help, and we saw people searching and pulling people out," Hoehn said.

Kingdom Tower 1000 meter!

The world’s tallest building, reaching an astonishing 1,000 metres (1 km) above the ground, will be built in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. The oil-rich kingdom has announced that the building, Kingdom Tower, costing $1.2 billion to construct will have a Four Seasons hotel, serviced apartments, luxury condominiums and offices – will cover about 530,000 square metres (about 5.7 million square feet). The figure, however, is a relatively small figure in comparison with the $20 billion Kingdom City project.
Kingdom Holding Co, the investment firm headed by billionaire Prince Alwaleed bin Talal, said it signed a $1.2 billion (4.2 billion riyal) deal with the Saudi Bin Laden Group (owned by the family of Osama bin Laden) to build the Kingdom Tower. Chicago-based Adrian Smith & Gordon Gill Architecture is designing the building, which is actually the first phase of the planned two-square mile Kingdom City. There will be 59 elevators and 12 escalators – the elevators that serve the observatory at the very top will travel at 10 metres per second in both directions.

Kingdom Tower would erase record-holder 828-metres Burj Khalifa which currently is not only the tallest building but also the tallest free-standing structure in the world. The venture is seen as a key part of Saudi ambitions to maintain growth by diversifying its economic base away from oil, as well as in creating tens of thousands of jobs. But it’s remain to be seen if its people would take the jobs since most of it would be outsource to foreign workers. Already, the unemployment rate fo both men and women aged 20-24 in Saudi is at a mind-boggling 43%, not to mention the kingdom’s literacy rate is at 85%, below that of Myanmar and Zimbabwe.
The proposed tower will take over 5 years to complete and by 2016, Saudi Arabia will be the proud owner of the 1,000 metres tower. The final height is still a secret as according to Prince Alwaleed, he doesn’t want competitors to use the information to build a taller tower and surpass the Kingdom Tower so soon. Prince Alwaleed is a major investor in some of the biggest companies in the world, including Citigroup, Apple Inc., Pepsico, Procter & Gamble and Four Seasons Hotels. Kingdom Holding is also the second-biggest shareholder in News Corp, the media conglomerate currently at the centre of the phone hacking scandal in the United Kingdom.

Here’re some of the tallest buildings, including the just announced Kingdom Tower.
Kingdom Tower, Jeddah – over 1,000 metres (awarded in 2011)
Burj Khalifa Dubai, Dubai – 828 metres
Willis Tower, Chicago – 527.3 metres
Shanghai Tower, Shanghai – 632 metres (under construction)
Abraj Al Bait Towers, Mecca – 601 metres (under construction)
Lotte World Premium Tower, Seoul – 555 metres (under construction)
Freedom Tower, New York City – 541 metres (under construction)
Taipei 101, Taipei – 509 metres
Shanghai World Financial Center, Shanghai – 494 metres
International Commerce Center, Hong Kong – 484 metres
Petronas Tower, Kuala Lumpur – 452 metres
Empire State Building, New York City – 448 metres
Burj Al Arab, Dubai – 321 metres

Pic of the day

Tank Man, or the Unknown Rebel, is the nickname of an anonymous man who stood in front of a column of Chinese Type 59 tanks the morning after the Chinese military forcibly removed protestors from in and around Beijing's Tiananmen Square on June 5, 1989. The man achieved widespread international recognition due to the videotape and photographs taken of the incident. Despite his anonymity, he is commonly (though not necessarily correctly) referred to in Chinese as Wang Weilin (王維林), as dubbed by a Sunday Express article.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tank_Man

Singapore is a Crab?

Feng Shui and Singapore
A friend just forwarded this report, supposedly dated but news to me, to share with others:

Why would Singapore go around planting trees?

After all, maintaining a Garden City is very expensive.

Well, here's the answer --

If you were to look at Singapore from the top, Singapore resembles a crab, with its mouth the Singapore river and its back facing Malaysia.

We all know that cooked crab (that means dead crab) is red, the colour of barren ground.
But a live crab is basically a dark shade of green.

So, by planting trees, you make Singapore look green and not red, and therefore alive.


TWO PROMINENT DISTRICTS

Lee Kuan Yew runs Tanjung Pagar while Goh Chok Tong is in Marine Parade.
If you look at Singapore as a crab again, these two locations are situated at the positions where the claws of a crab will be.

We know the strongest parts of a crab are its claws, so there they are.

HOW SINGAPORE WAS CONQUERED

To kill a crab, you stick the chopstick at the side of the crab...which is exactly where the Japanese attacked and conquered Singapore.


KALLANG RIVER CLEAN-UP

Why clean up a river that spells different memories for many Singaporeans and was one of the reasons for our prosperity in the early years?

During the 80's recession, we had just completed the Benjamin Sheares Bridge... which happens to suspend over the Singapore river, the mouth of the crab. This is as good as tying the mouth of the crab, thus choking it which explains the recession. In order to get out of it, one way was to clean up the river so that the mouth is clean and wealth can flow in without obstruction. Sounds unbelievable? But it seems logical, doesn't it?

NBC
Here's another thing for you to think about whether you believe it or not.
Please reach into your pocket and search for a one-dollar coin, and take a good look at it. It is round, no doubt, but it also has a unique Octagonal design - which is an imporant symbol in Chinese Geomancy or feng shui.

This is where the story of this coin begins. On the island of Singapore lived a very influential man named Lee. He is very particular about feng shui, i.e. man's balance with nature. There is a particular day and also time of day to inaugurate any important event. There is also a particular colour of dress, when it comes to important occasions, and so on. He has a feng shui mentor - a famous monk, a particular Venerable Hung Chuan who died recently. Lee would seek the advice of this Venerable, whenever he had to make an important decision.

The one-dollar coin came into circulation at the time of the MRT construction on the island (check the date if you don't believe me). The story goes that the Venerable had advised Lee that MRT tunnelling work would be bad for the feng shui of the island, its prosperity, etc. Firm however on pushing ahead with the project, Lee asked if there was anything that could be done to circumvent the bad feng shui. "Yes", replied the Venerable, "but it may be impossible to implement".

Said Lee to the Venerable - please speak. The Venerable then said that EVERY household on this island must have or must display a 'pak kwa' or symbolic octagonal (8-sided) object. Oh no, there would definitely be racial riots. How could Lee force every household to have a 'pak kwa' then at home?

Hehheh... said the wise Lee - I have an idea. I know how to make EVERYBODY like to have as many 'pak kwas' as possible and so, our one-dollar coin was born.


NEXT CHAPTER ...

But then, the economy didn't do quite as well as expected after the circulation of the one-dollar coin. Remember the '85/86 recession??

So the Honorary Venerable was consulted again. He said that whilst the one-dollar coin did symbolise the pak kwa, it was of no use if everyone had it in his pocket and failed to DISPLAY it. So the next novel idea was born the ROAD TAX LABEL If you recall, it used to be round and now, it's OCTAGONAL and it is DISPLAYED. Maybe now, you think this explains the many years of booming economy Singapore had been experiencing.

However, with the recent turmoil in the region and now that the Venerable* is no longer around, what shall we do next? Know any feng shui experts?

By the way, the monk mentioned is the ex-head of a temple. When he passed away several years ago, Bishan Park was born because his temple was not allowed to be blocked by any HDB flats.


http://www.classicfengshuimastery.com/grandmaster_venerable_hong_chuan.htm

A social experiment on perception, taste and people's priorities

In Washington, DC, at a Metro Station, on a cold January morning in 2007, this man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, approximately 2,000 people went through the station, most of them on their way to work. After about 3 minutes, a middle-aged man noticed that there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds, and then he hurried on to meet his schedule.

About 4 minutes later:
The violinist received his first dollar. A woman threw money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk.

At 6 minutes:
A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.

At 10 minutes:
A 3-year old boy stopped, but his mother tugged him along hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head the whole time. This action was repeated by several other children, but every parent - without exception - forced their children to move on quickly.

At 45 minutes:
The musician played continuously. Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while. About 20 gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace. The man collected a total of $32.

After 1 hour:
He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed and no one appl au ded. There was no recognition at all.

No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before, Joshua Bell sold-out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100 each to sit and listen to him play the same music.

This is a true story. Joshua Bell, playing incognito in the D.C. Metro Station, was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people's priorities.

This experiment raised several questions:

*In a common-place environment, at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty?

*If so, do we stop to appreciate it?

*Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?

One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be this:

If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made...

How many other things are we missing as we rush through life?

Enjoy life NOW .. it has an expiration date